Wow, we would still be waiting!

I just happened to look and see where the CCAA was with Non-special Needs referrals. They are still in 2006. We would still be waiting for an infant, if we had stayed in the NSN line. Our log-in date was April 19th, 2007. When I went to China, there were families in our group "logged in" in 2006, and that was 2 years ago.
My heart breaks for all of the families who are still waiting, and unable to make the switch. I encourage to families consider switching to the Special Needs line if they are able. They are so many minor special needs that are easily correctable: there is a longer wait for minor, correctable needs, but I highly encourage others to consider before giving up on their adoption dreams. It is very scary to switch and lose your place in line when you have invested so much time and money on recertifications and home studies.
Right after we logged in to China in 2007, I read on the ChinaAdoptTalk site about lengthening waits. She predicted waits of 3-5 years or more. I approached someone at my original agency that summer, and she told me that it was not true. Later, she sent out a blanket email not to listen to the rumors and message boards online. Those rumors were so true. Even just watching the CCAA at that time told me that something was happening to stagnate the process. That was back when the CCAA posted their review and place times.
For the latest NSN wait times, go to: http://chinaadopttalk.com/

I'm so glad that we hung in there. Life without Jili would be so incomplete.
Jill :)

Happy Chinese New Year ~ The Year of the Dragon

Tomorrow, Jiliang and I will be celebrating The Chinese New Year in style. We will be going to a Chinese dinner and show in Ann Arbor. We really wanted to attend the Families With Chinese Children Event last weekend, but our plans did not allow for that (next year for sure). Therefore, we will be enjoying this weekend.
I haven't written much lately on my blog. I had intended to write a Christmas and a New Year's message, but life happened. I was under the weather for a few weeks. I dislocated a disc in my jaw in early December, and I was in so much pain for weeks. I do not see that specialist until March 5th, but the inflammation has gone down with some anti-inflammatory medicine.
Despite that, we had a really incredible Christmas this year. Jili was really into Christmas this year, and loved being a part of the family traditions. She is feeling very secure in our family, which is such an awesome blessing.
This January has already flown by, but we have included a little Chinese New Year celebration in the mix this month, and hope to start a family tradition. I will be sure to post pictures of our event tomorrow. We will be visiting Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Jili will be wearing her Chinese outfit purchased in Guangzhou, China. It was her homecoming outfit from China. It still fits. The shirt is just right, and the pants are slightly short, but not too bad. She is so excited about wearing it tomorrow. If I had only had more money in China, I would have bought larger sizes for her to wear each year. They had so many Chinese outfits in China, but my budget was lucky enough to get me there and back for the adoption, so I am not complaining. She still ended up with two outfits from Guangzhou: one for her homecoming and one for her Baptism (all white).
Since the start of our American new year, I have gotten a lot of my book finished. I am really enjoying writing. It really is a catharthis for the last two years. I have always been able to debrief or process life so much better through writing. Yet, one of the most valuable lessons that I have been able to recollect is the compassion of the human heart. I recall a lot of really wonderful people during our adoption process. Perhaps, one of the hardest parts about writing was that there was so much to share. You see, the Spirit of Adoption sort of grabs at you that way. It is such a gift. You may think that it is about giving, but in giving, we receive so much unexpected joy, and it doesn't just stop when you bring your child home, because it has such a ripple effect. One of the most difficult things is deciding which joys to share and which ones to leave out. That's hard.
I guess I just hope to touch others enough through writing, to leave that mark and inspire others to reap their own blessings.
So here's to a new year, and new blessings from our house to yours.
Jill :)

Christmas Spirit

We are having such a great time getting into the Christmas Spirit this year. I shopped all online this year, and had all my shopping done by Black Friday. The kids and I made special Christmas ornaments for the Grandparents and Godparents, along with a few other special homemade gifts. We baked some cookies already and I plan to make many more.
My goal this year was to encounter less stress. Over the past years, I have tried too hard to accomplish the things I wanted to do for Christmas, but it was stressful. This year, my goal is not just to do the special holiday traditions, baking and crafts, but to really have it mean something to my children. Thus, we do a little something each night, but on a much smaller scale. As a teacher, I have many students who are in need this year, so I am trying to teach my children to give in ways that we are afforded, and clean out our closets and pass things on that may bless others in some small way. We are taking time to truly experience the traditions and are enjoying doing them as a family without the haste. Most importantly, we are really trying to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. T.J. has been learning about the Advent Calendar and practicing it. Jili is learning about Jesus.
I am really looking forward to the holiday break, but unfortunately I work right up until the 23rd this year. We try to do something special each night when I get home from work. Tonight, Jili picked out our Christmas tree. Last year, we forfeited our artificial tree for a real tree - T.J. picked out last year's tree. This year, it was Jili's turn to pick it out - and she talked about it for the past week. Jili, by the way, is coming out of her shell - she is becoming brutally honest. When we arrived, it was cold out and I was tired, so I pointed to a nice tree, hoping to hurry her along. I told the woman at the stand, "I'd better consult with my daughter, because it is her choice this year." Jili responded, "No, I don't want that one. Hmmm. Let me see." Then, she proceeded to select a really beautiful tree that was the same type as mine, but fuller, and much nicer. She was so proud of her choice. Scott had the privilege of loading that beauty.
In closing, here are a few photos from the Santa in town that is free. Both Jili and T.J. determined that he was the real Santa, because any Santa who would do it for free "is just doing a really nice thing and has to be real."
Merry Christmas Blessings to you and yours!
Jill :)

Halloween Costumes

Here's a picture of the kids Trick-or-Treating at the Briarwood Mall.

Check out this 33 second video on Lili's Service Dog

This is the cutest video. I hope it puts a smile on your face. This is a video of a little girl named Lili, who was adopted by the Dubbs family shortly after our Jiliang came home. Lili received her service dog puppy recently, and the Dubbs family is raising money to train this precious little Service pup to be Lili's hearing dog.

You can purchase raffle tickets to win an IPad or 2 beautiful quilts on Lili's blog:
2 ticketes for $10, or 5 tickets for $20
Check out Lili's blog to support this great cause: http://bringinghomeyun.blogspot.com/2011/10/lilis-hearing-dog-now-has-name.html#comment-form

Jili's School Pictures, Updates, and China Memories

Today was Jili's Picture Retake Day. She wore her new wig for the first time, which has a different fit to it. Children With Hair Loss made her a different style of wig, because she was due for a new one, AND because (if you recall) Jili cut the side of her last wig off about a month ago. Her new wig is not a custom fit, so it feels like it is not on all the way. However, it looks so beautiful. We are so thankful to Children With Hairloss for her beautiful hair piece.

I was so afraid that Jili's wig would fall off before her afternoon picture retakes, but it luckily it looked very nice. My mom was there when she got her pictures taken, and assured me that they turned out really cute, and yes, Jili was smiling. One of the issues that we are dealing with right now is the helmet versus the wig. She wears her helmet for gym and recess. The helmet comes on and off at least 3 times a day and sometimes it pulls the wig off. Jili is also growing out of the helmet, so it comes on and off really tight. She had an appointment to get a new helmet back in September/October. Unfortunately, our insurance company denied it at first, and it was very expensive. Fortunately, our pediatrian vouched that it was medically necessary, which it is. On November 1st, Scott took Jili back to pick up her new helmet, but it was too small. Eventually, we will have the right size.

China Memories:
Jili is doing so good in school. Today, however, she got really frightened being in the picture line. My mom was holding her hand, and she was so tense. Every now and then she has memories from her orphanage. Her picture line-up reminded her lining up with other friends from her orphanage to get their adoption pictures taken for potential families. After my mom reassured her of what was happening, she was able to smile.
Every now and then she will fear that someone is going to take her away from us, but for the most part, she is very attached and secure in our home. We feel extremely blessed, especially when we look back and see how her sense of security has evolved in the last year: a year ago we were reassuring her that she had a permanent place in our hearts and in our home on a daily basis, and every new person or place had the potential to take her from us. Jili has flashback moments or deja-vu moments that creep up on her, and it reminds us to reassure her that she will always be a part of our family and that she is never going to be separated from us. I honestly think that they are unconscious fears. For example, when we celebrated her birthday this past August, she locked up in fear at the birthday cake part, and would not acknowledge her cake right in front of her. In fact, she outright ignored the cake and tried to start eating watermelon. At first, we thought that she was just embarrassed at the attention. Looking back, she did something similar on her Fourth Birthday with us. Aside from the fact that orphans don't get special treatment like birthdays, we concluded that since she did not celebrate birthdays in China, the only time that she had cake was when she was about to leave the orphanage - when we sent her a cake - a going-away present/going-away party. For Jili, it rendered the memory of celebrating change and goodbye.
For Jili, it triggers a memory, and I don't think that she consciously realizes it, because she loves to go to other children' parties. When she started to open her presents, she shifted back to our happy Jiliang.
In the beginning of the school year, she had another "flashback" to her orphanage, when a lunch helper opened her lunch for her. Jili cried unconsolable, silent tears. We assumed she thought that the lunch lady was going to take her lunch. However, later, she told me that someone opened her lunch for her, and she said, "I cried because she opened my lunch for me and I didn't want to eat." Being in orphanage meant that children needed to eat and not waste. I think children were scolded for not finishing or wasting. I believe that the ayi's expected children to eat what they were served and when they were served, because food was scarce; and from my understanding they ate a lot of rice porridge, an orphanage staple food, with porridge-like rice with chicken. Possibly, they were urged the same meal often - food that was available to them. The simple act of a lunch helper opening her containers caused summoned up a memory from her past. Every day is a blessing, and we feel that these memories are healthy, necessary ways for Jili to process her life before and after her Koeppe family life. We deal with them as they surface and know that someday she will be able to deal with them head-on.
Jili is doing well in school. However, we planned from the start that she would do two years of Kindergarten, due to her age and language abilities. Jili loves her teacher and her school, and I know that we made the right choice to forego Young Five's/Developmental Kindergarten to place her in T.J.'s familiar school. My only complaint is that she doesn't eat at school. Unfortunately, I pack cute little snacks in Halloween boxes and healthy lunches with her favorite things, and it all comes back home, unless I pack NOODLES: spaghetti salad, Chinese salad, Thai noodles with peanut sauce, Chicken Lo Mein, similar spaghetti noodles or Ramen noodles... Of course, when she gets home, she makes up for it by eating non-stop. She still loves Chinese food and is tiring of the American novelty foods.
Aside from an occasional set-back, Jili is growing into an independent, studious, humorous, and thoughtful young lady. She loves to have homework and she is very well-mannered in school. She is very well-focused in school, and I believe that it is from the diciplined order of her Chinese orphanage. She is also very quiet - in school ONLY. My mom volunteers in her classroom. When she doesn't talk, the kids say, "It's okay, she doesn't talk," as if other adults or parents would be offended. When she does talk, the children stop and say, "Stop, she's talking, listen..." Some of the staff have a hard time believing that she talks non-stop at home. :)
At Circle Time, Jili is always quiet when it comes to her turn. When I come to her school, her friends always tell me that she didn't talk at circle again. The information is always well-intended. The awesome moment was when we sent Jili's China journey to school for her sharing project. Jili narrated the entire video and shocked everyone by talking more than she had all year. We had watched it so many times, and it became a natural part of her life. Her teacher was shocked trying to take it all in. Those are the moments you wish you could be present for and capture forever. It gave me faith that my little girl would eventually come out of her shell. I believe I will see that next year. For now, I just love watching her blossom, learn, thrive, laugh, smile and be allowed to just enjoy being a kid. As Thanksgiving approaches, I realize that I have so many blessings, and those blessings are members of my immediate and extended family - especially those named Jiliang and T.J.

Embarrassing Mom Moment

The kids and I had a trip to the mall to Trick or Treat, and I had that embarrassing Mom Moment, where wasn't sure if I want to crawl under a rock or throw caution to the "wind". We stopped one of the stores with several novelty gifts, and T.J. discovered the Whoopie Cushion bin. Of course, T.J. squeezes it and says, "Mom!!!! I can't believe you did that!" I'm telling him to stop, but Jili diverts me as she shows me a puppy calculator she wants. Meanwhile, T.J. comes up behind me as I'm bending over, and steps on it, and blames me again! The kids continued to laugh as I quipped at them to contain themselves. An elder woman broke out in laughter, as I pretended not to know my children for a brief moment. I walked away, leaving them in the aisle, as they jumped on Whoopie cushions.
And I owe it all to my Krzyzaniak family members who bought T.J. a Whoopie Cushion last Christmas. I can only laugh at my silly kids.