One Year Adoption Anniversary

Last February 19th, I departed Detroit Metro Airport enroute to Shanghai, China. I remember the anticipation that I felt, just like it was yesterday. I picked up a few Motown souvenirs to give the orphanage staff and guides, and finally I sat in a Max and Erma's restaurant waiting for my flight. I wondered what China would be like. I was excited. I was nervous. I wondered if my little girl would bond to me.
I met my girl on February 21st (U.S. Time), while Scott, T.J., family and friends eagerly awaited any glimpse of Gao Ji Liang via email. Oh, how it must have felt to see her for the first time!
Initially, Gotcha Day was frightening for her. Here I was, a complete stranger to her, taking her from the only people that she knew. I approached her gently, and when the time take to take custody of her, I had to pry her away from the staff, as she cried a mournful, frightened cry. And when we entered the cab to leave, my China guide, Fred, told me that he was taking us to the grocery store to buy her snacks and food, per the aunties' recommendations. Amen to that, because that experience solidified her trust in me. She loved the snacks and the treats that I bought, so I was sure that she would be comforted by lavish room service feast that I ordered as soon as we returned to our hotel room. A hotel staff member came up to take our dinner order and Jiliang was unphased. However, after our emotional day, I collapsed into tears when she chased the second room service attendant to the door in tears, and tried to open the door to follow her and run out. After I held her and comforted her, I collected myself and pulled out the coloring books that my cousin Kristy had sent, a quilt that my sister made for her, and mini Valentine bubbles that I bought on a whim. In no time, she was smiling. We called Scott soon after, and she shouted "Ba-Ba" into the phone. Scott couldn't wait to meet her. Then, T.J. got to talk to her. He couldn't wait to meet her either. Her grief slowly melted away, and she showed me the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. We bonded. She was happy, until it was bedtime. She cried herself to sleep with a soft, whimpering cry, unaware of what tomorrow held for her.
She was officially adopted on February 22nd (the 23rd, Nanjing time), at The Civil Affairs Office in Nanjing, that following morning. As a sign of respect and gratitude, I put the little green sweater on her - one in which the orphanage staff had given her the previous day. She silently cried when I put her little red coat on her, and she commenced to retrieving her little red orphanage hat with a somber sigh, as if to say, "Oh, I thought this was forever." Then, like a good little soldier, she lined up and faced the door, resigned to accept our departure. I tried to tell my little China girl in English that she was staying with me forever, and that it was Adoption Day! She stared straight ahead, confident that I must be apologizing or saying goodbye. When we went downstairs to eat at the buffet, she perked up until she saw Fred, our guide from the day before. Then, she was back to her previous, sad state. She refused to eat breakfast. Then, we were ushered forward to our taxi, enroute back to the Civil Affairs Office. I asked Fred to translate that she was staying with me. She was stone faced, but compliant to my every request. I held her hand in mine.
When the orphanage staff arrived, they ducked behind a barrier at first. They were concerned that she would run to them and reject me, like the previous day, but that didn't happen. Instead, the girl they all knew as being an introvert, only opening up to people she knew very well, hid from them. Instead, they explained to her in her familiar Gaoyou dialect that they came to say goodbye, and that she was going with me. They said that "Your Mom will never leave you."
After those words were spoken, her whole disposition changed. She livened up, started to talk and play with them at a table nearby, while I completed her adoption paperwork. Then, they expressed the transformation of her, and expressed their sheer joy and gratitude for our bonding experience, and told me that Gao Jiliang was not a child that trusted just anyone. I told them that she was talking a lot to me at the hotel, but I didn't know what she was saying. One of the females smiled and said that she only talks to people that she knows really well.
They were genuinely moved by our adoption experience, and relieved that Jiliang was happy. There are cases where some adoptions are rejected, sadly enough, and I could almost see a wave of relieve pass over their faces as they expressed Jiliang's transformation and acceptance into her new family. Every word they spoke to me was translated, yes, but some things can be spoken, and some things can only be felt with the heart. They kept looking at her and saying the equivalent of "wow" in Chinese, and shaking their heads in almost disbelief. It was obvious that they truly wanted a happy ending for Gao Ji Liang ("Gow Gee Lee Awn").

This whole year has passed by so quickly, yet I feel that we have known Gao Ji Liang (now Jili Koeppe) forever. For the last year, I had been planning to put a slideshow of this year on Jili's blog. I have been saving photos of important moments and looking forward to putting her memories in something that, I suppose, would mean personal closure to our adoption process and the stress that goes with the paperchase and wait; and celebrate our thankfulness for the health that Jiliang enjoys and appreciates today.
Last Saturday, I got hit with a terrible virus that had been going around my school, and this weekend became a complete blur. As I looked at the date on February 22nd, I realized that we didn't celebrate her first Gotcha Day, because I had been sick and because I was thinking of the China Time (2/22). I was disappointed, but I have learned that it doesn't change the fact that I have been reflecting those special days for weeks prior to that anniversary. I have also learned from this past year through my own faults, that life is not about perfect opportunities, but about treasuring the memories of yesterday and cherishing the small moments of today. Life is but a series of small moments, and we back get what we put into it. On Adoption Day, we kept things simple, and we decided to celebrate with popsicles. The kids thought popsicles were great! Scott made dinner and we each said something that we loved about Jiliang, yet T.J. surprised us most: "Uggh, Mom, I don't know," and he paused, "I just love everything about her. I can't pick one thing." That made Jili smile most.
I find that reflecting on sorrows and tribulations is an important way to appreciate our joys and our accomplishments. Looking back, we can measure how far we have come in any trying situation.
As I look back on our trip in China, I long to go back and do it all over again, but without all of the chaos and the hustle and bustle. Next time, it's panda bears, The Great Wall of China, a visit to the city of Gaoyou (Jiliang's Hometown), and the Gaoyou Orphanage. Jili and T.J. and both looking forward to it.

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart! We love you very much Jili!
Mom, Dad, and T.J.