The Stress Has Officially Hit Me!

I always pictured that my month prior to getting our daughter would be filled with joy and happiness, where I get her room ready, organize for my trip, study up on my Mandarin language, the Chinese culture and plan my sight-seeing; but instead it is a race against time. We still need to come up with the money for part of her orphanage donation and the trip for me to get there. Our tax return should pay for a lot of that, but I hate to bank on it being here in time. My biggest fears are not being able to pull things off in time. I am a huge planner and I like to have everything ready. I am not a spontaneous, live-by-the-seat-of-my-pants type of person, but that is what I am doing right now. Today, I really thought, "I can't do this. This is never going to work." Yet, I know that I need to get into a positive mindset.
My free time is spent working two jobs and barely seeing my son before he goes to bed. On the weekends, all I want to do is catch up on sleep. Her room is not done yet, and that is huge for me. I remember when I was pregnant with T.J. I was on bedrest for swelling, and I felt so helpless. I had that "nesting" syndrome, where you get the urge to clean and prep and purge your home of unwanted items. We didn't have T.J.'s room done in time and it drove me mad, and Scott didn't understand. Scott is a little more insistent on getting Jiliang's room ready.
I have been trying to figure out how long I can take off of work. I work at the Preschool until 3:00 and the Elementary School until 6:00, and usually get home at 7:00 p.m. Luckily for me, my mom just retired and I plan to have her watch Jiliang. I am just so tired with everything going on.
There are so many unknown variables in this scenario. For instance, I will not know her health status until she gets to the States and has been evaluated by a pediatrician. We will get a referral immediately to see a cardiologist. The surgeon I spoke to at U of M recommended that she get into a Pediatric Cardiologist within a week of being home. Of course, I will need a referral first. I planned on all of that. Human Resources, at my work, mentioned only giving me 2 weeks off. I had to prove that I could qualify for FMLA, but only because I have worked two jobs for my district and summer school. Otherwise, I wouldn't qualify. Of course, I am waiting to hear back on that.
I think what threw me over the edge is the difficulty trying to find a flight home from China that is non-stop. I am having such a hard time finding a flight to and from China.
I have had some very supportive family and friends throughout this process! I knew that this was going to be hard, but I think that I finally hit my melting point. I know that the only way to make this work is to have faith and prayers and positive thoughts from family and friends.
Thanks for listening!
Jill :)