4:00 a.m., Nanjing, China

The Confuscist Temple Market (at night)
second view
Nanjing Bridge
1st Bridge built over the Yangtze River (from 1997 to 2001)
Nanjing Wall - (details)

We are doing very well. Yesterday, we toured parts of Nanjing. My tour guide, Fred, is from Nanjing and he took pleasure in showing me these historical and proud areas and achievements of his city. Escaping from the modern day city life did me wonders, and it helped Jiliang and I both overcome a little of our cabin fever. We toured the Nanjing Bridge, the Nanjing Wall, The Confuscist Temple Market.

In the morning, we ate our continental breakfast (which was actually a 5 star buffet that you might see in Vegas). Jiliang would not speak to anyone. She does not talk in public, even to me. I told Fred that she talks so much to me at the hotel. Of course, it is in Chinese, so I cannot understand. She was not eating, nor was she the previous morning. I think that is not a morning person, but neither am I. I feel happy that she talks to me. I am only trying to determine what is going on in her head.

As soon as we sat down, the waitresses brought Jiliang a sweet roll. Shortly after, the waitresses noticed that she was not eating, so they brought her rice porridge and started to feed it to her. I said, “Congee!” They did not know that word and brought me a sign that said rice porridge. When Fred showed up, I explained that she had some diarrhea the previous night. The waitresses they brought more food on platters: meat sausages, ham, noodles and more. I felt for my poor little girl and prayed that she did not get sick. Fred told them to hold off on the meat and explained that he needed more rice and noodles, because she had a few bouts of diarrhea. They were so sweet and heartfelt. They listened to Fred. By the way, Leah, I am using chopsticks now. Jiliang can use them too (she is learning). I tried using chopsticks years ago with no success; but I just picked them up a day ago, and I am using them well. I think I am doing it backwards, but I am at least doing it. :-)

Nanjing is a large, historical city for China. Fred was able to share the sentiments, pride and history of Nanjing with such honor. Hearing him speak about China reminds me of why I fell in love with China in the first place. What I admire about China is their dedication to hard work, family and education. Housing is pricy in China, as it is in many places. The Chinese people spend everything else they have on their children’s education, medical and bare necessities. They want the best for their children.

When we were at the Civil Affairs Office yesterday, I saw many beautiful children with various special needs. Many of these children would be cast aside in Chinese society. Without judgment, I feel that many Chinese people could not be able to give these children the full lives that they so deserve. They may not be able to provide medical care to a child with a heart defect, or give a child with a special need the advantage that they need to be successful in China. Chinese families give so much to their families, leaving so little for other pleasures that we take for granted in other parts of the world.

I have been privileged in my own life. I have never wanted for food, housing or transportation. I came from a middle class family and both of my parents were hard-working Blue Collar workers: factory workers. They gave everything that they had so that my sister and I could lead full, happy and successful lives.

These last few years, my husband and I have struggled to make ends meet. When T.J. had colic and I had medical complications in 2004-2005, I eventually left my full-time dispatching job in 2005. I did so to take care of our son and to have surgeries to recover from child-birthing complications. I went back to college, we started an international adoption; thus, we struggled more. It eventually led us to a place where we had to struggle financially and work multiple jobs. Honestly, I was a little angry about it. In reality, we were still rich, compared to many people who share this earth with us. We had food on our table, a roof over our heads and wonderful medical insurance. We had our families to guide us. Now, more than ever, I have my faith to comfort me and pave the way for me. We are so blessed. Truly, I feel that everything in life happens for a reason. I believe that I needed to understand what it felt like to want to know my daughter’s needs. I am still learning, but I feel that I can parent her differently than I may have if I had gotten her when she was a baby. When you believe that everything happens for a reason, it is uncanny how your journey suddenly starts to make sense and everything seems to have a purpose.

I wanted so much to see the Real people of China, because to me they are so beautiful. When we drove back streets of Nanjing, I was able to capture the essence of the Chinese people. I am referring to the ones who carried the heavy loads of goods on their bikes just to sell enough to feed their families for a day. I took numerous pictures of the impoverished areas of China and it humbled me, and made me realize how blessed I am. It is no different than an American family who works hard to put food on their table, but in China it is right there in the open. I thought the people were beautiful and the sights off the beaten path were picturesque. It warmed my heart to see such hard work and dedication.

The Confuscian Temple Market was a magnificent sight to see, because of the Chinese New Year decorations. I was so excited, because it looked like the China Town that I have always longed to see. Even as a child, I have been attracted to Chinese lanterns, Chinese Dragons, Pagodas and many other Chinese symbols. I feel like I waited my whole life to experience this part of China, and I did today. It was so magnificent. I will share many pictures of these sights as soon as I can.
I have been eating Chinese food for most of my stay, and it has been very enjoyable. I have to admit, however, that I have been eating food at a Chinese Five Star Hotel but I am trying to protect my body from the unknown. I have tried many foreign foods and true authentic Chinese foods. I am not, however, trying anything raw.

However, today, Fred suggested that we eat at a McDonald’s at the Confuscian Temple Market, and I gladly obliged. I ordered a cheeseburger for Jiliang and I. Honestly, I get a little carsick, and after being in cabs, on a city bus and a subway, I just wanted what I wanted. Walking it off and eating always cures that. Somehow, Fred managed to order one Cheeseburger for “the baby”, a chicken sandwich and a fish sandwich. Fish or chicken just didn’t sound good at the moment. I told Fred that I really wanted a cheeseburger and that I could pay for it, so he got me one. He asked if he could take the other sandwich home to his family, so it didn’t go to waste. In retrospect, I felt a little bad about that.

We went to the Confuscian Temple and Jiliang came alive. It was very colorful and there were many artistic animations and statues. It smelled fragrantly of inscence. I thought that Jiliang was going to climb over this little fence to the crafted flowers. She smiled and ran around. Yet, she ran up to a statue of a student of Confuscious and I feared that she was going to bend the hand off of it. That could have been very bad and unlucky I guess.

There was a man at the temple writing poems about one’s name. I had him write a poem about Gao Ji Liang (Gow Gee Lee On).
This is the poem he wrote for her in about one minute, translated into English by my guide, Fred:

There is clear water running on the high mountain.
The lucky star flares on the whole world.
The girl is the most outstanding in the study career.
She definitely will be the high ranking official in the future.

We ended our temple experience by sitting for some folk music entertainment. I videotaped it to replay for her back at the hotel.

Jiliang reminds me so much of Scott, it is funny. She is also very much like T.J. in her mischieviousness, as he was as a three year old. She was a perfect angel all throughout the tour. No three year old that I know would have ever lasted that long on a tour. The Confuscian Temple market was the end of our tour. After seeing the temple, she became more comfortable with Fred, as she has with me. She decided to be very naughty. She held each of our hands and would lift her feet and swings from our arms. We were all tired, and nearing the busy street. I asked Fred to tell her that if she didn’t stop and walk, that he was not going to hold her hand. She loves Fred. I don’t think he understood, but we arrived to the cab shortly enough.

Fred had to gather some paperwork from me to schedule my intercountry travels. While we were taking care of business matters, Jiliang spilled her bubbles for her singing Happy Lamb bubble blower all over the chair in our room. After Fred left, I called the front desk to ask for some assistance. I felt really bad and didn’t want it to leave a soap stain. They said up an attendant. I said, “I’m sorry” in English and showed her the bubbles. She motioned as if to say, “No problem”, shrugging it off. She smiled and flipped the chair cushion over, looking at me as if to say, “See, no more problems.” We laughed, I thanked her, and all was well.

We ventured on to eat dinner in the hotel again. Jiliang is really showing her Chinese culture about layering clothing. She insisted on wearing her new pajamas under her outfit. She ended up with four shirts, two pajama pants, a pair of jeans and a coat. Yesterday, I did not tolerate it as much. I encouraged her to peel off the layers. Today, she cried for me to put more on. I realized today that it was truly important to her, not just as a cultural thing, but at an insulator for her too. That is what she is used to wearing. I can gradually change that, but it is not fair to her to change things so quickly on her. That is all she knows. Therefore, she looked like the child from The Christmas Story as we went to dinner.

There is another adoptive family staying next door to us in the hotel. We see them every time at breakfast and dinner, which is peculiar, because we have never eaten at the same time.  Their little girl is crying a lot. Whenever I see her with them, she looks so happy and she is absolutely glowing and smiling. She has a special need too, which is a limb difference. She is beautiful beyond words. They expressed that she cries at night. She does not want to go to sleep. She will only fall asleep if one of them is holding her. I told them, “Maybe she is afraid that when she wakes up, you will not be there.” I can tell that she loves them both very much. It is their first child, and I told them that my first child was colicky and I understood that it was very hard. I assured them that it was very normal and that it would get better. They are very nice people. I told them that I would love for our girls to play together, but explained that Jiliang had been coughing.

Fred has an eight-year old daughter. He asked to bring his wife and daughter to meet Jiliang at our hotel in the evening. I happily accepted. His beautiful daughter, Tiana, had just finished a violin lesson. She came to our room and met Jiliang. The family brought two puzzles, a Chinese Snow White book and a dog toy for Jiliang. His daughter played her violin for us and it almost made me cry. I thought that it was a thoughtful gesture of kindness.

Jiliang was so tired that evening. She is an outdoor girl. When we get back to the hotel in the evening she cries. After Fred left, she knew what was next: bedtime. Last night, she tried to dispute bedtime. I pointed to the bed and she got as far away from me (literally on the edge of her side) as possible. She cried a most grievous cry. She didn’t want me to hold or kiss her. She just cried herself to sleep.

Last night, she cried before I even sent her to bed. I tried to look at a book with her, so she could attach bedtime with something happy. Honestly, I think she was just overly tired and needed sleep. She cried a sad cry and slowly started to fall asleep. It was painful to see her sorrow, but I felt comfort in knowing that she let me hold her, stroke her hair and kiss her as her cries went into dreamland. I slept too at 8:30 p.m., which is why I am up writing in the quiet, wee hours of the Chinese morning. My little Angel sleeps softly as my fingers hit the keyboard.

God Bless you All! Keep us in your prayers. I will be in touch.

Jill :-)