Today...

Today, I found out that we did not get the adoption loan or grant that we had hoped for. That was a downer to my day to say the least. Coming up with the funds to get to China and process the adoption on their end is pretty costly. My lowest moment in this adoption process ushered in today, wondering if I could truly make it work. I have tried my best to have faith and remain positive about our adoption for the last 4 years. I have invested my heart and soul into this little one, and I have never second-guessed my choice; but three times in the last three months, I have slipped into a sea of doubt of NOT whether I wanted it to happen, but whether it would truly become a reality for us.

The first doubt was in October when we needed to do all of our costly updates and recertifications and we were going nowhere in the Non-Special Needs line. We were wondering if we could proceed with the process, and then within a week we had an opportunity to switch to the Waiting Child program and found Jiliang. Talk about a complete turnaround! About a month ago, I worried about not getting our paperwork processed, as we endured more paperchasing to get our immigration approval, letter of approval, Visa, and POA; but within a few days, it all was all resolved.

Today, I hit a low. I even considered the worst case scenario: "If I can't find a way to bring her home in time, I have to sponsor her and allow another family to adopt her." Every now and then, you need a loved one to bring everything back into focus and raise your faith. Luckily, Scott assured me that it WAS going to happen and that everything was going to fall into place, and to have FAITH that I will be leaving to get her in two weeks. So I am praying that God will take care of it on his end. In my heart, I truly believe that it will all work out.

I have grown to love Jiliang and she holds a special place in my heart. Tomorrow will be exactly 3 months since we first saw her face. When we locked in her file, we were told that this process would take about 3-6 months, but most likely closer to the 6 month marker. For some reason, it has been going faster than we had expected. Our process will have been about 3 1/2 months when I finally meet her. Now, all I can think about is when I will finally get to hold my little girl.

Your Prayers are be greatly apreciated!

Tonight, Scott said, "You know, Dads want daughters even more than Moms do. Dads want a Daddy's little girl - someone who they can take care of." If you know my husband, you must understand how endearing that is to hear him utter those words.

On a positive note, all of our paperwork that is needed for China travels and the adoption process is COMPLETE. The Power of Attorney to act on Scott's behalf came back today; I have my Visa, my Travel Approval and her immigration paperwork. I just need the official leave date and itinerary and I can book a flight.

All of your prayers, donations and support have definitely pulled me through this rollercoaster ride. Thank you so much. I just ask for your continued prayers for Jiliang to make it safely home to our family. I pray every day that she will have an Angel looking out for her in China to love her and keep her well until we meet. In the meantime, I am praying and thinking positive. If I fall, I know that my family and friends will be there to scoop me up and guide me in HIS name.

God Bless!
Jill :)