Jiliang's Ponytail

Jiliang loves to look at herself in the mirror. I am hoping to buy our little princess a full-length mirror this week. (I am selling some 2t clothing to pay for it, if anyone is interested.) Every day, after her bath, I style her hair and she runs to the mirror to check it out. She always smiles at her appearance. Even cuter is when I dress her - she spins around in a circle to model the outfit of the day for me.

Everyday is like Christmas for her: a house and a room of her own; plentiful food and drink; a never-ending supply in the house at all times; a clean bathroom, hand soap and TOILET PAPER; HAND SANITIZER; bubble baths every day; a bedroom and a warm bed of her own; pretty clothes and shoes each day that are HERS; new adventures; a cat to chase; a dog to blame things on; a big brother to play with; and people who love her!

Yesterday, she kept touching the bald spot on her head. I think she is understanding that her hair is different. We have been looking at pictures of other Chinese children on other adoptive families' blogs, and sees little girls at T.J.'s school and in magazines. Today, she was frustrated, because out of nowhere she was trying to put a rubber band in her hair. She must have seen a child with a ponytail somewhere. I have always loved seeing Chinese children with the two mini ponytails at the tops of their heads with little tufts of hair sticking straight up. I put a pony on the side of her head where there's hair. She was so proud of it. I wish she could have had two ponies, but maybe it will happen this summer.

As of this day forward, I will not be mentioning her bald spot again in front of her, as I don't want her to feel different. A lot of the nurses at the hospital asked about it, and I usually desribe the extend of her burn and how it affected the growth and closure of her fontanelle (from what we understand). I always think that the nurses are asking because they need to know her history, and then realize that they are being curious. So, I have to be careful, because she understands what I am saying now, and can pick up on other people's response or their pity. She is not a kid that it fond of pity. Therefore, I will not be bringing her head issue up in front of her anymore, unless something neccessitates it.

Truly, I feel that I have been too forthcoming with information, but had I been prepared to understand how to answer questions prior to traveling to get her, I may have found a better way to be supportive of her. I wish that every parenting situation came with a manual on how to do the right thing all the time, but unfortunately that is never the case.

As parents, we learn by our mistakes. We hope that as we raise our children, they absolutely know that we love them unconditionally; and we hope that we don't inhibit their self of worth or scar them for life. That is the hardest part of parenting: There is never perfection. It is a cycle of love and growth.